It is difficult for me to consistently entertain conventional customs of faith in this world while seeing the piling of the unfortunate everywhere one may turn, but I do my best to unconventionally get by. I may not fully grasp many aspects of religion or believe in how it represents itself in public, so I elect to support Darwin or await reincarnation. I may not want to believe that humans have as much power over choices or responsibility in circumstances as we might deem, so I abide by the psycho-comedic screenplay that is fate. And aliens. I believe in puppets substituting for people and morality successfully and how rabbits are the Satans of the animal kingdom - I believe in the majestically abnormal. And I may not envelop as fortifying a warm-and-fuzzy feeling during the socially renowned holidays, so I embody my own. I believe in Christmas in July.
How else can you explain the winter wonderland I awoke to this Christmas Eve morning when I read how the four-month NFL lockout very well could/should/would officially be terminated Christmas Day? Is it a fluke that both the owners and players reportedly agree upon the CBA proposal on July 24th? They have had a ridiculous amount of opportunities to settle this before today, but monetary greed and bah humbugs and mistletoe teases made Cindy Lou Who fear there would be no football this season. Then Roger Goodell's heart grew three sizes about a week ago, and now Drew Brees basically has the Saints putting their pads on to make snow angels. Call it a coincidence or an alignment of the stars, in each sense of the term, but this is a summer miracle.
Of course we should not be naive enough to rule out another jarring setback in negotiations by this time tomorrow, but optimism has already swelled my body the way all good ham and eggnog should. My faith in sports is undeniably restored, at least until the September Valentine's Day cards swirl around and USC doesn't get any. I am a kid again hyped up on candy canes and nonsense, who woke up at 9:30 in the holy freakin' morning to start writing this blog without an outline, and yet I will not be sleeping tonight because Santa will be stopping by to cheer up my mother and drop off my NFL with a huge sparkling red bow on top. My wishes and prayers have been answered, and if we are considering this marvel a partridge in a pear tree, then expect the gifts to continue falling from the chimney:
-I almost felt jolly enough to call Terry Francona (whose present was his 1000th managerial baseball victory during this weekend series) and have him let the Mariners beat my beloved Red Sox later today, but alas, I do not. However, suspect Seattle to end their 15-game losing streak on the exact same day the lockout concludes, and against who else? The Yankees obviously. God Bless Us, Everyone!
-Fantasy fanatics can finally exhale, or implement their IVs and breathing tubes, cancel their college football and golf leagues, and proceed with neglecting other potential hobbies and their families.
-Give Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard their passports, for it would be ludicrously selfish of me to beg for football and basketball this autumn. Plus, while the two play overseas during the NBA's own stoppage, Kobe will recruit Superman to the Lakers, thrusting Andrew Bynum off of the sleigh.
By the time we reach Christmas according to the actual calendar, the standings might absolutely be manipulated solely by the repercussions of this lockout and the vast and rapid actions these teams perform over the next two weeks. From rookies to emerging young stars, stunted player development could not be avoided 100%, and the signing of free agents will be even more constipated than usual, so the already cemented veteran cornerstones of this league will only be challenged by a sprinkle of pixie dust:
-NFC South - Quarterbacks Josh Freeman of the Bucs and Matt Ryan of the Falcons will have to wait one more year to lead their youthful and loaded offenses atop the division, because Drew Brees will be rewarded for his advocacy of the NFLPA, parenting of off-the-field workouts, and staying power as an elite passer.
-AFC East - Both the Patriots and Jets have possessed vocal parties throughout this process, one of which quite possibly more obnoxious than the other (go ahead and guess which). It is always fun for each of these squads to play the Grinch in the context of fans' rooting interest, but although Tom Brady has experienced snowy magic in Foxboro, Christmas is generally grander in New York...
-AFC North - Joe Flacco of the Ravens is another budding quarterback victimized by the delay in preferred preparation, so recently married Ben Roethlisberger will keep the romance, the Steelers, and the temporarily decent behavior rolling.
-AFC South - Along with Brees and Brady, Peyton Manning completes the trifecta of NFL leaders with and without the pigskin in hand, but between the undervalued neck injury and the fact that he truly is not getting younger, perhaps it is not such a wonderful life anymore. I was one jump away from departing the Houston Texans bandwagon once and for all, but now I believe I spot Rudolph up front, so I'll stay and play reindeer games.
-NFC West -Even if the Cardinals land Kevin Kolb or "steal" Matt Hasselbeck from Seattle, and the Seahawks "won" the division last year, and the 49ers...the Rams present the best overall talent and "veteran" leadership courtesy of lucky Sam Bradford. Despite the inhibiting lockout and just one [choked] season under his belt, his surprising composure should entice a Randy Moss or Plaxico Burress to become bah humbled and catch his passes.
-AFC West - The Chiefs and Raiders both shockingly flourished in their respective perimeters last season, but in this time the progress will unfortunately be delayed in the midst of their new expectations. This has to be the Chargers last chance, as it has been over the past decade, so perhaps this is St. Nick turning Philip Rivers into wine and wins.
-NFC East - The Eagles' Michael Vick has transformed into the giant feel-good story everyone cherishes during the holidays, but this is my holiday, and as I stated before, Christmas is better in New York...
-NFC North - I would positively love to acclaim the rising Detroit Lions as the surprise wild card team of the league that will deservedly make the playoffs after years of coal in their stockings, but even Disney cannot draw that up. It just so happens that the largest beneficiaries of the NFL lockout are the reigning champion Green Bay Packers, who have slipped out of the target zones of the other 31 clubs and under the radar, but not enough to stop me from making them my first favorite to repeat since I have cared to make my predictions public.
Happy holidays, everyone. Enjoy the yellow snow as new drama is shoveled.